The desire to move fast is met with big moves.
As many of you know, I have been working on a piece of my life purpose in bringing a new healing modality for PTSD into the military formation. I have gone through the military process, the structure, the packets, the paperwork, the chain of command, I have knocked on doors - I have received no, no, no.
Living my Life Purpose is a gift, I have a gift to give and it was provided to me by God. We were all created with a purpose - with unique gifts, we CANNOT fail when we choose to Live our Life Purpose. Failing is not an option because God desires us to be the complete and authentic being we were created to be - to live from a place of peace in harmony and love with ourselves and our Creator. If you feel stuck in life and are ready for a change, make a NEW choice and Join Life Purpose Class with Jeff and Shaleia! You are only clicks away from transforming your life!
If you are interested in going deeper with me! You can follow the juicy details, the big blocks, the new choices I make with my Live Students in my recorded Living Free Training Sessions. My Life Purpose Journey is captured, every moment, every detail of my journey is shared as I share my story, guide my live students into deeper love with God and inspire them to make new choices and take action in their lives.
Yesterday, I was at the point where if I did not receive support, to move forward with M.A.P., the next step was to separate from the military. This would break my heart and frankly felt like shit! I felt like God was taking away my family. It was a deep fear within that if I chose my good, if I chose to live a life of authenticity, a life of love, my family would be taken away - I would lose them.
For those on the Twin Flame Journey and for many who have told me personally I spend too much time on my Life Purpose and not enough time focusing on my union with my true twin flame Mario. This block to family - is ALL about my union with God which is union with my twin flame. The fear of losing my family was the block to my HTFU.
Family had always been my core block to union.
The truth is there is only one path here and it is going deeper into love, going deeper with the Army, deeper with my family. Not separating from them, not choosing to separate from them. As I face this fear and choose love in this space I heal in all areas of my life to include all my relationships, including my relationship with God, Myself, and My Twin Flame.
I have come to some very clear conclusions with assistance from my spiritual leaders Jeff and Shaleia from TwinFlameUniverse - the Army has a problem and the Army is avoiding it. Avoidance is a symptom of PTSD. The collective consciousness of my beloved organization is traumatized. My life purpose work goes well beyond the Army or the U.S. forces, it's a military consciousness.
This week, I experienced a new level of fear. There is no other word for it but pure, unfiltered fear. On Monday, I was paralyzed in it, just sitting in my home. I couldn't move, I was shaking. I had the awareness of what I was experiencing, I knew it was fear. I also have the tools, the mirror exercise, to love myself through it.
It wouldn't budge, I just sat in it. I was for some reason gripping onto it. No matter what I mirrored - it wasn't budging. I called my mentors and requested a session. I needed some help here. I was literally paralyzed in fear on my call with A&C this week and Catrina was smiling and was like "I'm so proud of you, you're slaying the fucking dragon right now"
I laughed as I knew she was right but I couldn't move. I was literally shaking... Catrina finally said "You're safe right now, right - like in your house" I knew this to be true but the feeling of fear was telling me different. I was trying to figure out the block.
Catrina finally said - The Block is the Fear!
I made the choice to release it - I don't need to know the root, I just need to acknowledge it as it passed through me and release it and choose love. As I did this, Catrina said, you will continue to experience this as you move forward.
REALLY?!? I knew this to be true, but damn - this is crazy! As I reflected on this, I thought - What am I doing wrong?
Jeff and Shaleia spent time with me in Twin Flame Ascension School, TFAS, this week (well, for like over a month now! I'm very grateful to receive the immense love, mentorship, guidance, and comfort of my beloved spiritual teachers and my fellow TFAS students. I thank God for them everyday!). As always they took me deeper into my experiences. I made the choice to live my purpose of healing trauma, healing war.
The fear I face is within the collective consciousness of the community I am here to heal. It's not about me personally, I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not failing to do my inner work. The reason I am faced with these new levels of fear and the reason I will continue to encounter them is because - I AM DOING THE WORK!
God is calling me into deeper levels of love! It's my life purpose to heal this massive collective energy. I am a part of it, but I'm here to end it. I have come to a place in my life where I am now a complete servant of God. God moves through me and I honor my mastery with my creator and I surrender to God's will, it is truly the only way to live.
I dance with God through it, healing it with every physical interaction. The military collective consciousness is alive, it moves, thinks, communicates. Jeff pointed this out to me in class, when I thought I was receiving Divine Guidance, it was a last ditch effort from a traumatized military collective consciousness to distract me from moving forward.
I made a new choice to have discernment in this space. I choose complete clarity in my Divine Guidance. I have complete faith of this because I fully accept myself, Love myself, Honor my life purpose, my mastery, and I have peace in my current situation and find joy in it and infinite abundance.
I have not gotten to where I am on my journey alone. I have tapped into EVERY asset available to me to get clear and go deeper with God. It does required discipline and work but it's worth it and going back to any other way of life is just not an option.
I will encounter more pockets of fear moving forward, there is no doubt. J&S have confirmed this through their work and sharing their experiences. Encountering fear does not scare me, it means I am ready to learn a new dance with the Divine.
Jeff noted it's time for this to be easy. My unit is obviously not helping me, not interested in supporting me and are more interested in stalling me. I know this. They are a wolf in sheep's clothing. I've got no more time for that shit! I also know the way has been shown.
I did an exercise Anne gave me this week in my individual session. I'm literally back to basics with my mirror exercise and writing it out as I enter into this new energy. Going deeper into new levels of fear to heal is a gift because as I release it, I'm making space for love to take it's place.
I'm not conscious of the fear until I am, I lock in and clear it. I investigate every thought, every experience and choose love. If it pops in my head, I explore it, find the root and choose love.
When I hit a wall, I ask for help. I am always met with the help I need, always. As I do my inner work, my leaders J&S invite me closer in a relationship with them. God speaks through them supporting me in every moment.
I realized, even if I beat down the door to my current unit's commander - they would still have to go to the Chemical Corps for support. The Chemical Corps has the final say of where I go and what I do.
There is only one path, one military energy, that has supported me the entire time. One consciousness within the larger military collective consciousness that has said "yes" to helping me. It's my family, my Army home, the Chemical Corps. They have not hesitated, they have simply said, yes to my instant request for support. I realized when I woke up, there is true power there for me to tap into. True Power is grounded in Love - I love my Corps - I always have and the Soldiers I've led. I have only ever received love in return.
When I looked up my current Chemical Leader, I have not personally served with him. BUT, I have served with his deputy commander. He has told me repeatedly, throughout my career, "Chrissy - if you need anything, you only need to ask - I will do anything I can to help you."
I'm reaching out to him today. I will be his first call this morning when he gets to the office!
It's Time! I am ready, confident, and prepared!
Please reference the Glossary for terms and resources.
*If you are inspired and choose to deepen your relationship with Love by joining TFAS or Life Purpose Class - I invite you to refer me, Chrissy Kay, at time of purchase. You will receive 4 weeks of FREE coaching in my live group coaching class. Check it out here.