Jeff and Shaleia have been spending a great deal of time with me in Twin Flame Ascension School this last month. We have been really working on my Life Purpose and connecting the dots. This last week, we went even deeper and discussed my Twin Flame and how all of the work I’ve been doing to bring healing to my military family was aligned with the biggest block to my twin flame union.
My biggest block to union is family. I have known this for a very long time and if you have read any of my blogs, you would know – I am always working on family. My biological tribe, my military family, my spiritual family, and even at times I encountered my twin flames family.
IT’s all about family. Even those I help in the military - their trauma is around family.
During this last class, Jeff asked me if Mario trusted me as much as I trust Jeff. The instant answer to his question was yes. When I checked in again, I received the same answer but hit a pocket of fear to work on.
As I integrated the healing from class and processed my lesson on unconditional love regarding my true family. I realized the pocket of fear surrounding trust was within me. When I reflected deeply on my conversations with Mario – he trusted me instantly.
Shortly after I contacted my twin, he laid it down – everything. He was all in. (That's how we roll). He told me about his family, his fears, his dreams, desires, hopes, values…He gave me everything, all of him - in an instant. It was only when we went deeper into what we both saw unfolding between us did we hit our biggest block to our union – family.
Friday afternoon, I walked with my new boss down to the operations center. Just chatting with her about my upcoming move to work for her. During the conversation, I learned she would not be my direct U.S. supervisor but my team leader would be. I didn't realize this, he was not around on Friday.
I realized, as I was walking to my car, there are no moves for me to make or tasks for me to complete with my Life Purpose Work. There is nothing for me to do there right now. It's not in my control.
I felt there was something for me to do. I checked in and it was engaging my twin. My work shifted to my union with Mario.
I reached out to Mario on Friday to see if he was interested in hearing my story and lessons as I would love to share my new awareness with him. He responded instantly with a resounding no.
He communicated I do not understand him, we are strangers, and every time I email him, he feels pressured. I take him away from his “peace” and I’m annoying him. He chooses to be free, he went on and on… I chose to respond to the feeling he communicated of being pressured.
I responded with a simply and short reply. I noted when I feel pressured it is because I feel trapped. I asked him if he feels trapped and what does freedom mean to him.
I went into mirroring the pressure. I didn’t feel pressure at first as I felt very peaceful. As I chose to call it in, I felt a deep burning in my heart space, I leaned into it, inviting it in, as it flowed through me, I sent love and compassion in that space. The energy and sensation grew and continued down my arms. I was open to receiving and continued to embrace the energy and sit in peace.
While, I was doing this healing work within me and claiming my relationship with God, Mario was sending me emails. He was calling me out for everything over the last year and a half. It was rather impressive as he remembered a great amount of details from our correspondence.
I did not have time to respond to most of it prior to him sending more… I responded to the feelings and disregarded the fears.
For the first time, he took our disagreement personal. At least, that was what I thought as translation with us is sometimes off.
He told me: You are broken balls.
At first, I thought he was calling me crazy. I responded calmly stating I had no idea what that was but it does not feel nice. I do not choose to be disrespected.
He FLIPPED – this was a huge trigger for him and as usual, it ended with: I’m not emailing you again – stop it.
This level of correspondence was of course in Italian style REALLY BIG DRAMATIC LETTERS - BOLDED FOR AFFECT!
I have heard this over and over in our correspondence for over a year. It was our pattern. And we are both over it.
I took my time and answered the questions in all of his emails. I addressed his accusations with logical facts in a very peaceful and respectful way.
He kept calling me annoying – I simply stated – I may be a pain in your ass, but you seem to enjoy it cuz you keep coming back for more.
I also realized later he was trying to tell me: You're busting my balls.
After I took a break and did my healing work. I woke up in the middle of the night with a new awareness that aligned with the lesson I learned in TFAS on Wednesday.
In the past, I would "respect" his request and not go any further. I'm over this pattern - so I said Fuck it
I decided to write one more letter…
Please reference the Glossary for terms and resources.
*If you are inspired and choose to deepen your relationship with Love by joining TFAS or Life Purpose Class - I invite you to refer me, Chrissy Kay, at time of purchase. You will receive 4 weeks of FREE coaching in my live group coaching class. Check it out here.