Tuesdays, Tuesdays are always a HUGE day! This of course is BECAUSE Tuesday is the day AFTER Monday. Monday for over a year now is my Anne and Catrina mentoring day. OH YEAH! They are that powerful! So…let’s talk about it shall we?
Let’s start with Thursday. Thursday, I was informed of this contract I needed to move forward with my research project. The research that will prove efficacy of the Mind Alignment Process (M.A.P.) as a treatment for PTSD. I needed my first line department of defense (DoD) supervisor to sign. So, I said to myself “NO PROBLEM” they said they would support me and this is just saying and I QUOTE: “I am aware my employee is entering into this agreement” - THAT’S IT!
They know this, I've been transparent, no problem!
The agreement: I am the primary investigator of a research study. Yes. It is a lot of work, a laundry list of tasks.
So, the request. DENIED. The reasoning from the senior ranking Army officer: There is no way you can complete so many tasks while maintaining your current position and our NATO mission. This is a full time job.
——— My internal Dialoge———
If I can run the most diverse training Brigade in the Army as the YOUNGEST ranking Brigade S3 (the heartbeat of a unit), working 12 to 15 hour shifts, 6 days a week, while earning my PhD to include my research to complete my dissertation while receiving above center of mass ratings and #1 Major against my senior ranking peers…..????
I can do that shit in NATO! (Just saying’ - the OPTEMPO is slightly ((drastically)) different).
—————Back to Reality————
So, I suggested a meeting to discuss this disagreement. This was on Saturday. The meeting was set for Monday.
Sunday, I swing by one of the leader’s offices to talk to him as he had been avoiding my phone calls. The unit is currently in a “field exercise” and we are working 12 hour shifts for 12 days straight.
After discussing, he noted he felt that made sense but wanted the senior leader involved. She was the lawyer.
I really like her as we’ve had coffee and I thought, sure let’s do it. She will see the truth in what I’m requesting and this is no problem.
——- Sunday Night——
I receive a gift of knowing that my #1 block to Harmonious Twin Flame Union is Family. (I knew this).
My purpose was to unite my military family with my spiritual family.
When I did that… I would have perfect union with God.
—— The meeting ——
Rolling into work, on Monday I decided to always choose to go deeper with my family, no matter what. I would do whatever it takes. I’m all in.
A couple of hours prior to the meeting, I decide to go take a shower at the gym. Not work out - just go take a shower. (Very odd). I did it and felt great!
I decide then to go grab something to eat and ran into a couple of colleagues. We got to talking and I learn about this new position opening up.
It’s the Night Watch Officer for the Joint Operations Center. Basically, you monitor the Headquarters at night. Because it is such a high level command it requires a high level officer to monitor the desk. BUT, it is considered a CAREER KILLER, a job those on their way out, those retiring or being asked to leave take.
My friend at lunch was leaving and they had not found a replacement to fill the gap. It was becoming a strain on everyone involved.
I asked him about the hours and responsibilities. It was 2 days, 2 night (4 days) on, 6 days off! During your time, you could do whatever you wanted… I asked him what he did… He watch a shitload of Netflix!
I KNEW - I KNEW instantly. This was the assignment I had been asking for! It provided me the space and time to complete the research and the access to the sites I needed! It was my DREAM JOB!
I just said… I WANT it! I Choose it NOW!
He looked at me… Why Ma’am? No one wants this job?
I do! ( I knew, I saw what God was presenting me, I saw through the external reality that it was career suicide to the truth).
Eventually he said.. ok, I’ll have my people get with your people.
I started laughing as we were talking about the senior leaders and just said, perfect!
—— The Meeting ——
It started out nice. I waited by the door for permission to enter and while waiting, I said a prayer and chose to only speak when guided and gave it all to God.
I thought it was a discussion about signing the paperwork, it was a ONE-WAY discussion on NOT signing the paperwork. They pulled out all kind of excuses, but the real fear was they were uncomfortable. My research project made them uncomfortable. They refused to sign it.
I felt the wall - I chose to persist. I did not care if they said no. I would pay for the research myself.
I threw up my hands in a state of surrender and said I accept your decision, fine, I will do it without military endorsement. I will pay out of pocket if I have to, whatever it takes. I will do it. It is immoral not to do everything in my power to bring this to Soldiers, I'll do it on my own.
The room fell silent, I looked at the senior leader in the room and her eyes where watering. She knew, in that moment, there was nothing they could do. I am unstoppable.
At that moment, I felt a rod of energy, almost like the size of a 2x4 running through me. I took a deep breath and in the absolute silence.
I looked up… looked her straight in the eyes - You need a night JOC Watch Officer.
She said, Yes…yes I do.
I instantly responded: I volunteer.
She looked at her counterpart in the room, with this, shrug and “this makes sense” look.
He turned to me and asked…before we move forward, why would you want that job?
I opened my mouth, and she answered…It gives her the Time.
I said, yes - it’s 4 days on, 6 days off. I can write a night and it provides space for me to do the research.
They could not argue, the power shifted.
They agreed and asked for support from my direct cell which I felt I already had.
I walked out shortly after - them looking and feeling very confused. They thought they were stalling me by saying no, they could “Heizeman” me until I left next summer, forget about me until me and my research project were someone else’s problem.
I chose to go deeper. I will not achieve union by separating from my military family in any way but only by going deeper into my family, into love.
My new supervisor is a DoD employee… nothing to do with these two, she is Air Force.
So now, we have a Navy Admiral endorsement, an Army action officer, and an Air Force supervisor… hmmm???
We can say M.A.P. has gone JOINT SERVICE!
——- My Feelings —
After that meeting, even though I took the pitch and the swing into my dream job and had a baseline hit.
I WAS PISSED! I was grateful for the job but stewing in this anger from not being supported! WTF is wrong with these people!
I was Mad!
Anne and Catrina guided me through it and I realized a HUGE, GIGANTIC pattern. I was equating support based on receiving a “yes” from those around me. I was equating God’s support based on external responses of others.
That was not the truth at all! I knew God was supporting me. I was feeding into the illusion, I was not being supported by people and I was NOT trusting God to do God’s part.
I chose to embrace my Divine Support.
I surrendered that and embraced the importance of celebration!
Many times after clearing a block, I would feel stupid, like that shit was dumb and I’m glad it’s over.
That attitude does not honor my spiritual accomplishments.
I chose to honor myself.
These were HUGE for me! It was a great session!
This was an incredible coaching session for me! It was amazing and I would recommend Anne and Catrina to ANYONE! Check out their work at: www.thetwinflameway.com
—— Tuesday ——
I talk to my first line supervisor, he flipped the fuck out…..I was like, what? We talked about me getting another job? You knew I was “job hunting” to support my research. He Yells and screams, I match his energy asking how I can help him, he shuts down and storms off.
I do my internal work - I felt good and at peace. That was all his shit. I had compassion for him. No one wants to lose a good worker and he felt abandoned.
I then realized…that was practice. To stand in peace, while someone resisted, knowing God had me. I talked to God and said, I know you got this!
A couple moments later, the same boss sends his endorsements, goes and tells the senior leader of our office who supports the move!
A Canadian currently in charge of my section ( I LOVE Canadians, my spiritual leader Shaleia is Canadian) - he sends an email, stating - this is perfect for everyone Chrissy. No problem. We will miss you around here!
I talk to another German, as I ask him to check in on my “emotional boss”. He looks at me…have you not figured this out? It does not mean anything? I thought you were marrying an Italian?
I just laughed…. Yes, Yes I am!
Please reference the Glossary for terms and resources.
*If you are inspired and choose to deepen your relationship with Love by joining TFAS or Life Purpose Class - I invite you to refer me, Chrissy Kay, at time of purchase. You will receive 4 weeks of FREE coaching in my live group coaching class. Check it out here.