Post Traumatic Stress: a psychological reaction occurring after experiencing a highly stressing event that is usually characterized by depression, anxiety, flashbacks, recurrent nightmares, and avoidance of reminders of the event.(Sometimes referred to as PTSD)*
My PTSD symptoms included:
Easily Angered, Emotional Numbing, Avoidance, Un-healthy sleep and eating patterns, and a cycle of internally terrorizing myself - those are just a few.
My PTSD did not derive strictly from Combat but included previous life experiences of psychological, emotional, and physical abuse.
The resources in place for military members suffering from PTSD are overwhelmed, resulting in delayed support. Due to this, it is difficult to get help when needed, most warriors have to sit with it. I am blessed to have people in my life who offer me healing options. When I told Jeff about my experience and I had to wait for two weeks to see someone. He immediately responded:
Perhaps you would like me to heal your PTSD? Can’t imagine why you would want to dick around with that shit anymore.
Hell Yes – Let’s Go!
We were on skype in less than 10 minutes for my second session with him. What a gift - it is absolutely priceless. Jeff helped me step out of an ultimate mind trap.
During that session I realized my thought process of terrorizing myself within. I was constantly reviewing scenarios in my head. How would I react if this happened….Why did I react that way when that happened….I should have done this, I could have done that, if this happens – I’m going to do this….It was a constant cycle of a negative thought pattern based on ridiculous scenarios. I used to rehearse myself reacting to potential confrontations or negative situations. It was constant…. For years – I honestly cannot remember when I didn’t think that way.
It was my normal.
Jeff described it as constantly internally slapping myself every time I had an emotional or positive thought.
That comment triggered more flashbacks. He sat with me and we worked through every single one. Every flashback, regardless of what it was, if I had an emotion attached to it – we talked through the mind alignment process (MAP) and healed it.
That’s the beauty of what he does.... I don’t feel pressured or anxious in regards to our sessions. He just loves me through it and it is my choice to stop or keep unfolding the memories and the flashbacks.
There is a difference between memories, triggers, and flashbacks.
Memories: the store of things learned and retained from an organism's activity or experience as evidenced by modification of structure or behavior or by recall and recognition *
For me – Memories are past experiences or lessons learned with NO emotions attached to them. I simply remember them without FEELING anything.
Trigger: something that acts like a mechanical trigger in initiating a process or reaction.*
For me - A trigger was a stimulus (person, movie, sound, helicopter) that initiated an intensely inappropriate and imbalanced response.
Flashbacks: a past incident recurring vividly in the mind*.
For me – My Flashbacks had emotions linked to them. So, when I started replaying a past incident in my mind I would get emotional such as: scared, vulnerable, hurt, pain, mad, pissed, frustrated…those were flashbacks.
Since this last session with Jeff, I shifted my thought and behavioral patterns.
For the majority of my life I walked around scared inside. I was frightened at everything; I never spoke my mind or expressed my feelings. I kept them bottled up inside because I was taught/trained to do so.
I would be frightened that a stranger on the street or even in a buffet line was going to attack or hurt me. I was skittish inside, jumpy.
I learned to hide it well from others.
Eventually, I numbed out to my emotions. I remember when I started TFAS, I could not express my feelings or get past “I feel good”.
Jeff was incredibly gentle with me. He would routinely start class with me and quickly transition to another student. I was so closed-off due to my trauma, I could not express, identify, or engage in discussions about my emotions.
I was that numb!
As he transitioned to other students, I would start understanding my feelings through his work with one of my classmates. That is the beauty of group TFAS classes, we are all going through the same thing. Therefore, I started to identify and understand my feelings while he worked with another student.
I started to heal.
I am a healer (in training) but a healer non-the-less. I desire to deepen our relationship as our Life Purposes align as well.
That is why I am so drawn to Jeff and Shaleia's work.
Meditations and healing with the mirror exercise are priceless techniques to live a balanced life. Jeff and Shaleia are teaching me how to Love and I am forever grateful.
One thing a previous spiritual mentor told me during an email session is the power of the healed healer.
You are in a commendable position of awareness because you are taking responsibility for the ending of the cycle of terrorism and you are starting with yourself. This is what is meant when you hear a reference to the wounded healer. Healing the wound within yourself empowers you with the tools to offer that healing to humanity. It is a beautiful thing! In your healing the tendency to terrorize yourself and releasing the associated fear, you are opening yourself up to the discovery and appreciation for the wonderful qualities of your authentic self.
My journey has been an absolute whirlwind - I am fast tracking home.
The next week at work, I ended the very last abusive cycle I will ever experience.
My continuous cycle of allowing others to terrorize me is over - done.
Jeff helped me heal my PTSD to end the cycle of terrorizing myself within.
I no longer feel trapped in my own mind - I am free!
I choose to enjoy the freedom of my choices and embrace the creative energy filling my heart and lifting my vibration to hire states of love and wholeness.
*Definitions provided by Dictionary by Merriam-Webster: https://www.merriam-webster.com/
Please reference my Glossary for additional definitions.
*If you are inspired and choose to deepen your relationship with Love by joining TFAS or Life Purpose Class - I invite you to refer me, Chrissy Kay, at time of purchase. You will receive 4 weeks of FREE coaching in my live group coaching class. Check it out here.